I noted in my last post that I’ve been finding that good days seem to be followed by a bad day, and in many cases, several bad days.
So, after my last post….
I had trouble falling asleep that night. I was wide awake. Which seemed weird because I had gotten up earlier that morning, than I have been the past few weeks.
Then the next morning, I couldn’t get myself out of bed. I just wanted to sleep. I did eventually get up and had breakfast, but I didn’t shower until after noon.
I broke down in tears several times while showering and then doing my hair, feeling worthless and like I’ve failed at life because I wanted to have two good days in a row and couldn’t do it.
I knew I needed to do something with my day, so I texted a friend who lives nearby and we made plans to do something that evening.
We took our dogs out for a walk around the park near her apartment, got some ice cream, and walked down by the boat docks. Then we went back and hung out at her place for a bit.
So I felt better, not excellent, but better, by the end of the evening.
Woke up this morning, feeling kind of crappy again, but I had to take the dogs to the groomers at 11 and I had an appointment with my doctor at 2, so I had to get up.
Spent some time between dropping off the dogs and my appointment working on a website that I’m doing on a volunteer basis. Made some progress on something I’d been struggling to figure out with that, which felt good.
Picked up the dogs on my way home from my appointment, and then sat in the family room painting my nails until my mom got home.
I’m kind of back to my sort of mid-range level of mood at the moment. Not super shitty, but not really happy either.
We’ll see how tomorrow goes, I guess…