Before I Knew It Was Anxiety, I Thought I Was Dying

I often have a difficult time expressing my thoughts and feelings in words. Written as well as spoken. So I often find it easier to use other people’s words when I can relate to what they’re saying.

Here is another article, but this one hit very close to home.

Before I Knew It Was Anxiety, I Thought I Was Dying

She may as well be talking about my life! The path to diagnosis was a bit different, but the stomach aches, from a very young age, with no real explanation… That was me.

The thought that I had some major life threatening illness was always present in my mind.

They got so bad that I had a bunch of tests done in grade 9 but the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong.

I also started having chronic head aches and heart palpitations in college. Had a bunch of tests done and no one could figure out what was wrong.

To be honest, I felt kind of betrayed by our health system. Especially after realizing that the answer was screaming everyone in the face. Even me. But I’m the patient. I came to the doctors for answers and didn’t get them.

It wasn’t until I basically had a nervous breakdown when I was 26 that I finally realized something else was wrong and I needed help. It took me basically telling the doctor I was overwhelmed with day to day life to finally get a proper diagnosis. I didn’t know what anxiety was at the time. But now, I feel like I know or a little too well.

A little over a year later, I’m doing a lot better. I still have my bad days. More than I’d care to admit. But I finally found the right meds to help with my depression, which helps a bit with my anxiety, but nothing seems to help my anxiety more than my own self awareness.

My anxiety is still there, every day, but I know now that it is anxiety and not some serious disease that is slowly killing me. Simply knowing that helps me get through each day.

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