Alone Time

I’ve been feeling extremely unmotivated lately. I just want to spend an entire day curled up in bed and do nothing. Maybe watch some Netflix or something. I just want to feel like I am not required to accomplish anything. At least for a few days. I need some recharge time.

I moved back in with my parents so I could sort some things out and pay off some debt. The problem is, I got very used to having my own space. Now, I feel like I have no time to myself. I work all day (I am also extremely busy with work right now, so that isn’t helping matters) and then my parents come home, and there is chaos with the dogs (they had two dogs, and my dog is super high energy compared to theirs, but when they all get barking at the garage door opening, its more like having 5 dogs) and my entire evening routine is messed up, and by messed up, I mean, it is completely gone, and I feel like I’ve had no time to be alone.

I need my time alone. I am an introvert. I don’t like being around people 24/7. I don’t like small talk, it makes me uncomfortable. I like to watch my TV shows and lose myself in the story, which is impossible to do when there are other people in the room, especially when they don’t know what’s going on, so they insist on asking questions at the worst moments. It drives me nuts!

In fact, I haven’t even been watching all my TV shows, because I no longer have my old PVR, with all my scheduled recordings, and my parents don’t like most of the shows I watch. Plus, they’re usually down in the family room before me, so I have no input on what channel the TV is on. We did get my TV mounted on the wall in the bedroom, but the family room is right outside my door, so having both TVs on at the same time is super annoying. I also don’t have cable hooked up in my room yet, so I’m limited to what is on my Apple TV and Netflix. Or I have to go upstairs and watch stuff on my computer….maybe if I had a couch in my office….

I lived alone, with my dog, for 3 years. Now I live in someone else’s house. Even though they’re my parents and I love them, I need my space! My private time. This is causing me to stay up later than I usually do, because the only time I can properly unwind is after they’ve gone to bed.

I am currently sitting in bed, with the lamp on. The only sounds are the creaks and cracks of the house shifting with the changing temperature, and the fans in my laptop. My dog is sound asleep, legs twitching as he dreams, at the foot of my bed.

It is after 11:30pm. When I lived alone, I was in bed, lights out, and teeth brushed most nights before the clock hit 10:00. Some nights, maybe it was closer to 11, but that’s ok. I enjoy sleeping, but when I can’t properly unwind, it makes sleeping very difficult. I was very tired today, because I was too wound up to sleep last night.

I am stressed about things that are coming up at work. I am still finding myself thinking and getting quite upset about things that have happened in the past few weeks.

I just want to have a few days where I can hang out in bed all day, and do nothing. Course, when I don’t get out of bed, living with my parents, I get in trouble for not doing anything with myself. I’m 27 years old. I can’t handle that. Apparently, there are people older than me who never left their parents house. I don’t know how they can do it! I couldn’t wait to get out. I’ve been back to a month, and I’m ready to leave again. I don’t like how my mom folds my t-shirts. I don’t like her laundry detergent. I don’t like my parents morning routine because it interferes with mine, which really isn’t much of a routine. It is a little different every day, and that’s how I like it. For most things, it doesn’t matter, but the water pressure coming into their house is a little crappier than their last house, so we can’t have two showers going at the same time. The tankless water heater makes the temperature all good. Problem is just the pressure. Someone can turn on the tap in the kitchen, and I’ll notice it in my shower in the opposite corner of the house, on a different floor.

Even our dogs have entirely different morning routines. Although, mine doesn’t seem to care much, as long as he pees, poops, and eats, he doesn’t care what order they happen in, as long as they all happen. And that’s one of the things I love about him. When it was just us, I could completely mess up my morning routine. Do everything in the wrong order, and he wouldn’t care. He would get confused and go to his kennel and wait for his treat too early, but he didn’t phased by it. He’s pretty easy going and happy-go-lucky. My parents dogs, on the other hand, have to get their breakfast right away and then go for their walk immediately. No questions. They bark annoyingly at you if you until you get the next thing done.

All that being said, I know there is a long weekend, only a few days away, but this has been going on for weeks.

Anyways, this is totally unorganized. I needed to rant. Now I’m sleepy…..ish. Probably enough to go to attempt to sleep. That, and my legs are starting to hurt from the way I’m sitting on my bed.

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